smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
