you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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