Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
