you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
