He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
