those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
