so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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