i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
