He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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