Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
