return my video game
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
