...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
