I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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