what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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