During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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