so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
