Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize