i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
