Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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