there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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