Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize