And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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