lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
