That's intense
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
