worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize