so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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