Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
