i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
