No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
