It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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