Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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