u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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