i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize