sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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