We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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