Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
