She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
