seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
