Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
