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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)

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• (310): View more from California

  that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something

  (818): View more from California

  its my fault though, i'm wearing tights

  (310): View more from California

  you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap

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• (310): View more from California

  I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

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• (727): View more from Florida

  hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  These beer shits have taken over my entire life.

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• (925): View more from California

  The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one

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