I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
