i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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