I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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