she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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