the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
