her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
