Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
