We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
