Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
