Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
