apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
