i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
