I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
