Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
