Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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