I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
