I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
