hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
